Daily Care Thresholds

Why the Smallest Things Matter More Than You Think...

I didn’t arrive at this idea through productivity books or performance frameworks.

I arrived here quietly by paying attention.

After becoming a mother, my tolerance for wasted energy dropped to zero. Not because I was trying to optimize my life, but because I could feel when something was off. Some days I woke up calm and steady. Other days I felt depleted before the day had even begun.

So I started asking a different question than I ever had before.

Not “What should I be doing?”

But “What actually creates good energy for me?”

I watched. I noticed. I stayed curious.

On days I moved my body, even briefly, I felt more grounded. When I paused to pray, even for a few minutes, my nervous system softened. When I drank enough water, ate enough protein, or expressed something creative, my patience expanded. My reactions slowed. My capacity grew.

And when those things were missing, even one or two of them, I could feel myself slipping into depletion. Not dramatically. Subtly. Quietly. The kind of unraveling that happens long before burnout announces itself.

That’s when it clicked.

These weren’t goals.

They weren’t habits to perfect.

They were thresholds.

What a Threshold Really Is

A threshold is not a goal.

It’s not a quota.

It’s not a standard you strive to exceed.

A threshold is the point at which something changes.

In architecture, it’s the strip beneath a doorway; the place you step over to move from outside to inside. From exposure into shelter. From chaos into containment.

In the body and nervous system, thresholds work the same way.

Below a certain line, things unravel.

Above it, life begins to function again.

Quotas vs Care Thresholds

A quota asks:

“Did I hit that number?”

A care threshold asks: 

“Did I give my system enough to function today?” 

Quotas are often imposed from the outside and tied to worth or performance.

Care thresholds are chosen from the inside and tied to capacity.

When we confuse the two, self-care becomes another source of pressure.

When we distinguish them, care becomes protective.

What Care Thresholds Look Like

Care thresholds are the smallest daily actions that keep you on the right side of the doorway.

Not impressive.

Not optimized.

Just enough.

For me, they look like:

• brief daily movement

• a few minutes of prayer or stillness

• creative or fulfilling expression

• adequate water

• adequate protein

• one thing I am genuinely grateful for and taking a moment to feel it

Each one is simple. Almost unremarkable.

And that’s why they work.

Why This Matters

When life feels heavy, the instinct is often to do more.

But regulation doesn’t come from effort.

It comes from enough support.

Care thresholds create a baseline of safety the body can trust.

And trust is what allows growth to happen naturally without force.

An Invitation

As you read this, you might notice a quiet knowing begin to surface.

Not about what you should do.

But about what, when present, makes you feel steadier. More like yourself. More resourced.

So I’ll leave you with a question: What are the care thresholds in your life?

What are the small, non-negotiable forms of care that, when met, keep you on the right side of the doorway?

You don’t need to answer it all at once.

Just notice what brings you back inside.